I'd like to think that this is another pitstop am taking to lead me somewhere better that I ever imagined. Life is an adventure meant to be lived after all.
There is, however an almost poetic sadness in the recent shift of things. There was nothing dramatic or comical about it. It was rather quick and quiet, and hopefully a more matured decision than I originally thought.
As I have said before, I simply end chapters and avoid closing doors because for most things, we can never tell with finality when they are over. An affair can end in a chapter to be picked up again later. Some good things sometimes need to be put on hold for more important ones.
I am all in when it comes to pursuing passions but succeeding in that pursuit requires more than passion itself. It requires freedom, resources and skills - you do need something more to show, no not just show but actually put on the table other than sheer desire.
Personally, for me its knowing with some amount of certainty that I have taken care of all the other important things so I can freely go after the things I really want.
There is however a risk in putting off things you're passionate about on hold for quite some time to take care of more practical and pressing things. The process changes you in certain ways. As you grow, you begin to challenge and question things you earlier had very strong convictions about. I don't know for certain if its a good or bad thing when you get to a point when you wonder if what you've always thought you're passionate about suddenly feels like its no longer for you.
Its quite startling to be caught in the middle of trying to live up to it only to realize it doesn't feel right anymore.
People change, sometimes we grow and sometimes we grow backwards...whathever the case, its just important to take a step back and analyze where you're winiinwinning and losing the most and what demands you're greatest attention. At the end of the day, the important thing is to learn from the experience and take corrective actions as soon as one realizes his or her shortcomings. Life need not be perfect but it does need to be lived to the fullest.
